


Secure. Contain. Passport.

by cybercataclysm



Category: Half-Life, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom, SCP - Containment Breach, SCP Foundation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - SCP Foundation, Benrey being Benrey, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Rated M for swearing and innuendo, but I needed another agent, i don't know if agent nekochris has a canon personality, i guess, no beta we die like men, noncanon character development, so uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:40:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybercataclysm/pseuds/cybercataclysm
Summary: Gordon Freeman thought that his life after escaping Black Mesa would be simple. But not even a day after the party at Chuck-E-Cheese's, a mysterious man from a foundation he's never heard of shows up at his front door with an offer.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Dr. Alto Clef/Dr. Benjamin Kondraki
Comments: 24
Kudos: 176





	1. Chapter 1

Gordon’s eyes fluttered open and he stifled a groan. He sat in the silence of his own bed for the first time in days. After the resonance cascade, after the boss fight with Benrey, and after the party at Chuck-E-Cheese’s, he had picked up Joshua from Marianne’s house and taken him home late in the night before immediately going to bed. Gordon slowly sat up, looking down at the prosthetic hand given to him by G-Man after the party.

Maybe everything would turn out okay.

“Hey Joshy, glad to see you’re up.”

The 6-year-old boy yawned as he walked into the kitchen. Gordon flipped over a cooking pancake, letting it sizzle on the pan. “Breakfast is almost ready. Go turn on some cartoons, we’ll eat on the couch.”

“Really?” Joshua asked with a wide grin. His father nodded, and he ran off into the living room. Gordon smiled and put the final pancake on Joshua’s plate. He cut them up and drenched them in syrup, just how Joshua liked it, before buttering his own pancakes and heading into the living room with them. His son sat on the couch, entranced by an episode of Spongebob.

As Gordon dug into his food, he found his mind wandering on the events of the past few days. He didn’t particularly care, of course, but he wondered if Benrey was actually dead. He did his best not to think about all the people that he’d killed, or witnessed being killed, in Black Mesa. Maybe he’d call Doctor Coomer or Tommy later…

_ Ding-dong _ .

The doorbell rang, and Gordon sat down his plate. “I’ll be right back, Joshua.” He did his best to make his hair look presentable, and straightened his glasses before opening the door. Before him stood a man in a black vest and deep blue jumpsuit, who he could have mistaken for Benrey had it not been for their glasses and light hair.

“Uh… hi? Who are you?”

“You’re Gordon, right? Gordon Freeman?”

“Yeah…”

“The same Gordon Freeman who recently survived the Black Mesa resonance cascade?”

“Wh- how do you know about that?”

“Nice,” the man muttered to himself. “Uh, yeah. I’m Agent Lament of the SCP Foundation. We need to ask you some questions down at Site 19. So… yeah, come with me.”

Gordon stepped away reflexively. “What?! I don’t even know you! Why the hell would I come with you? And my son is here, I can’t just leave him!”

“You can bring him with you, it’s fine,” Lament said, waving his hand. “Just make yourself look science-y or whatever.”

“And if I don’t cooperate?”

Lament smirked, and patted a pocket on his vest. “Let’s just say the Foundation isn’t that restrictive with tranquilizers.”

The men looked at each other for a moment before Gordon groaned, and went back inside. “I’ll be ready in ten.”

Gordon shifted around in the back of Lament’s van as he drove them somewhere outside of the city. Gordon thought that his problems with crazy labs would be over when Black Mesa kicked the bucket, but apparently not.

“Daddy? Where are we going?” Josh asked, tugging at the sleeve of Gordon’s button-up shirt.

“Uh… he’s just picking me up for work, Joshy. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. He needs to show me the way to a new building.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. Wherever Lament was taking him in the New Mexico deserts, Gordon had never heard of it. “...how much longer until we get there?”

“Not too much longer. I’d drive faster, but I’m not Gerald…” Lament chuckled. “I bet you’ll meet him someday. Literally the worst driver in the entire Foundation.”

“What, did you have a contest?” Gordon joked.

“No, but he  _ did  _ manage to destroy a small town on a Moped. I tell you, it was the talk of Site 19 for  _ weeks _ .”

Gordon gaped for a moment. “...wow.”

“I’m sure Bright can tell you more once we get there. Classified shit… I probably shouldn’t have even told you about Gerald.”

“I’ve never even heard of you guys. Are you really that classified? What do you even  _ do _ ?”

“Eh, a lot of things. But to give you an idea, it stands for Secure, Contain, Protect.”

“...and what does that refer to?”

Lament looked at Gordon in the rearview mirror, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “You’re about to find out.”

When Lament led Gordon to the huge concrete complex in the middle of the desert, Gordon first noticed the amount of security.

It seemed that everywhere he looked, there was a guard with an impressive gun leaning against the wall. Most of them seemed quite uncomfortable in the heat, despite the shade of the valley that the site was positioned in. Joshua clung onto Gordon’s hand tightly as they approached what seemed to be the front door.

“Name and ID?” the guard in front of the door asked, seeming bored.

“Come on, Harry, you know I’m Lament,” the agent said, pulling out a card. The guard gave a barely-visible smile under his helmet and examined the card before nodding, and opened the door before giving it back to Lament.

“Heh. Glad he didn’t ask for your passport.”

Lament raised an eyebrow at Gordon. “Wait. Do you know 5964?”

“What? No, sorry, just- just reminded me of an old…” Gordon paused, torn between “friend” and “enemy”. “...associate. Always asked me for my passport.”

“Huh. Guess that’s why Bright wanted you. Follow me.”

Gordon and Joshua followed Agent Lament through twisting passageways. Occasionally, a scientist would walk by them, but pay no mind. Eventually, they reached a room at the end of one of the white hallways. There were a few chairs sitting outside, and a plaque next to the electric door read “Director Jack Bright”.

“The kid needs to stay out here,” Lament said, almost apologetically. Gordon gulped before nodding.

“Hey Joshy. Can you sit out here while Daddy talks to someone?”

“Aww… can I play on your phone…?”

“No, sweetie. I won’t be long, I promise.”

“Fiiiine…”

Gordon gave his son a kiss on the forehead before leading him to a chair. Joshua sat down, and Lament pulled out his ID card to scan on the door. It whirred open and he gestured Gordon inside.

Gordon walked into the office. The first thing he noticed was, of course, the one person in the room- a man with light skin and curly ginger hair, wearing thick glasses and a lab coat. Clearly shown above the coat was an… amulet, was the best word Gordon could think to describe it. It had a bright red ruby in the center of a decorative metal circle. He was smiling with something close to warmth, but not quite. Interest?

“Ah, the infamous Doctor Gordon Freeman, in the flesh!” he said merrily. “Come take a seat. I take it Lament was good to you?”

“Uh… yeah? What do you mean,  _ infamous _ ?”

“Well, that was quite a load of stunts you pulled at Black Mesa. You’re very good with a crowbar. But don’t let me forget my manners, I’m Jack Bright!” The director stuck out his hand, and Gordon shook it loosely.

“Y-you saw what happened at-”

“Oh, don’t worry about all the murder, Gordon,” Bright insisted. “Clef’s done worse. We actually came to you to offer you a job at our little ol’ foundation!”

Gordon blinked, sitting up a bit straighter. “Really? Fuck, that’d- oh, I’m sorry- that would be amazing, actually!”

Bright’s grin widened and he leaned forwards. “Yep! We’ve checked your credentials, and considering that Black Mesa is in… well, a bit of a  _ state _ , we thought that you and your buddies would be fantastic additions to the team.”

“Tommy and Coomer and Bubby are here?” Gordon asked. Today just seemed to keep getting better…!

“Er… kind of. Well, don’t get me wrong, they’re all fine! Coolatta and Coomer were offered the jobs earlier today and should be getting ready. But, erm… the guy you call Bubby had to be classified. Along with Benrey.”

Never mind.

“B-Benrey?! Wait, he’s  _ alive _ ?!”

“Yeesh, you don’t seem happy. Yeah, we brought him over here. Really doesn’t like to stay in containment, though. But he’s mostly harmless, so we thought you’d be able to-”

“ _ Harmless _ ?!” Gordon sputtered. “Doctor Bright, I don’t think you understand- Benrey almost  _ killed  _ me!”

“...you put, like, four hundred bullets in him.”

“But he was fine! He- he got my  _ arm _ cut off!” Gordon emphasized this by raising his prosthetic hand. “After- fuck, Bright, after we went into those teleporters, Benrey started, like, changing sizes and shit! And we had to destroy the passports, and- and-”

“Hey, hey, calm down!” The director rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. “Okay, look. I’ll try to confirm your story with the new doctors and SCPs. We’ll sort this out later. But for now, let’s just get your paperwork in order, ‘kay?”

Gordon took a deep breath and placed his head in his hands. “...fine.”

“You see, the SCP Foundation stands to contain and research all sorts of anomalous objects and creatures! We’ve got killer lizards, pinatas that maul children, self-replicating cake, living drawings, a shittier weeping angel- anything you can think of!” Bright explained. Gordon looked through the files that Bright had presented him with in awe. “Since you already have experience in both scientific fields and the anomalous, we’ll be giving you level 3 clearance and containment engineer access right off the bat. You can handle it, probably. And if you can’t, it’ll make for some funny stories.”

Gordon paled at the thought of his death becoming a well-known event. He handed over the signed papers and files, letting Bright look over them. He smiled and stood up- he seemed to be a bit taller than Coomer, but not as tall as Gordon.

“Now, Doctor Freeman, let me show you around.”

“Um, Doctor Bright… I, uh, brought my kid here, will it be okay if he comes along?” Gordon asked as he stood up. Bright visibly paled.

“Wait. You brought…”

“Listen, I’m sorry, Lament came at a really bad time and I couldn’t just leave him at the house-”

“No, no, it’s alright! I just wanted to show you, uh… he shouldn’t see that.” Bright quickly walked around his desk and swiped his key card. “Is he out here?”

“Yeah, should be-”

But when Gordon looked around the hall, there was no sign of Joshua.

“...is it okay to curse at this job?”

“Knock yourself out.”

“ _ SHIT! _ ”


	2. Chapter 2

“ _ Joshua?! _ ” Gordon yelled into the halls of the foundation. He didn’t know where he was going, he simply ran around aimlessly, searching for his son. “Josh, where are you?!” 

He leaned against the wall to catch his breath. When Gordon rubbed his eyes, he found tears welling up in them. Dammit. He couldn’t even go one day at a new job without crying…?

“Gordon, wait up!”

Doctor Bright ran into the corridor, panting for air as he finally caught up with Gordon. “Dude, we’ll find your kid. Getting yourself lost in heavy containment isn’t helping!” Gordon wiped his eyes before he turned to face Bright, who had a radio in his hand. He took a deep breath before pressing the button on it. “Yo, this is Bright. Anyone who’s seen a little kid wandering around- uh, what does your kid look like?”

“Uh… d-dark skin, black hair, wearing a blue t-shirt and shorts. Please find him.”

“Yeah, his name is Joshua. Report back if you find him.” Bright let go of the button, and after a few seconds, a crackling sound came from the radio.

“ _ Er… good news and bad news, Director. We found the kid, but, um… _ ”

“What?”

“ _ He’s with SCP-5964? Uh, it breached containment. Again. And we’re currently trying to separate it from the vending machine in the light containment break room. They’re drinking all the soda.” _

Doctor Bright groaned loudly. “Alright, fine. We’ll be right over.” He put the radio in a pocket on his belt and fidgeted with the amulet around his neck. “Somehow he made it to light containment. C’mon, let’s get this over with.”

Bright beckoned Gordon to walk the way they came, shoved his hands in the pockets of his lab coat, and began to walk.

“Uh. So, what exactly am I going to be doing here?” Gordon asked.

“All sorts of things. Most of the doctors here are on a where-needed basis. But the basic hours are nine to six.” Gordon nodded. It was similar to what he had set up at Black Mesa, so it wouldn’t be an issue to get his ex to pick up Joshua from school, seeing as she already did so. “We do a lot of experiments on the SCPs. In fact, we want to throw that guy who you claim tried to kill you at 682. See what happens.”

“Wh- what’s 682?”

“...well, it’s more me who wants to do that.” Bright shrugged. “But I’m the director, I can do what I want around here!”

“Bright, no chainsaw cannons!”

A voice came from down the hall, and Gordon looked to see a man with a scruffy beard and a baseball cap walking down the hall with a flock of butterflies in tow.

“The hell?”

“Ah, Kondraki! Haven’t seen you in a hot minute!”

The man, Kondraki, rolled his eyes at Bright. “What are you planning this time?”

“Oh come on, it’s just a little experiment with the new SCP and 682!”

“What, the one who dresses like a shitty ripoff MTF agent?”

“You know it.”

Kondraki turned his gaze to Gordon. “Hey. You’re new.”

“Yeah, uh, howdy. I’m Gordon Freeman. Bright just gave me a job as a researcher.” Gordon stuck out his hand and Kondraki shook it with a hint of a smile.

“Welcome to the team. Glad to see we’re getting a passably normal researcher here.”

“There are no normal researchers at the SCP Foundation!” Bright declared, crossing his arms. “Really, don’t listen to this killjoy, Freeman. He thinks ska is dead. Anyway, man, I’d love to talk, but we have to find Doctor Freeman’s kid.”

“You brought a  _ kid _ here?” Kondraki asked, exasperated.

“To be fair, when I got picked up, I had no idea where we were going!”

“Didn’t know- oh my god, Bright, did you send agents to kidnap another person?”

“We’ll discuss this later!” Bright waved Kondraki off, and grabbed Gordon by the wrist. “Come on, we’re almost to the elevators, let’s go.”

“Wait, have you done this before-?”

“No use in wasting time!”

Gordon waved goodbye to Kondraki as Bright dragged him off. Surely enough, just around the corner was a pair of elevators. Bright pressed the button to go down, and they got in the elevator. There were no buttons on the inside, so the elevator had nowhere to go but down.

“Isn’t that a safety hazard? There’s no emergency button.”

“There’s backup power. Busted elevator is the last thing we need to worry about.”

The doors opened, and Gordon continued to follow Bright. Thankfully, it wasn’t long until he swiped his security card on one of the doors, and allowed Gordon inside.

“ _ Joshua _ !”

Inside the break room was several guards standing around a very broken vending machine. They all seemed unsure of what to do as Gordon’s son snapped open a can of Mountain Dew and began to drink it in huge gulps.

“Aw yeah, kid, chug chug chug!”

“YOU!”

And of course, laughing there, was Benrey.

He seemed exactly the same as he had when Gordon had met him- no Sweet Voice bubbling from his mouth, a normal size for a human being, eyes almost glowing under the shadow of his helmet. Gordon stepped forward and practically growled as he pushed aside the guards to grab Joshua.

“Joshy, are you okay?” he asked as he lifted his son into his arms. Joshua giggled.

“Hi daddy! Benny got me soda!”

“Never run away like that again! I was so worried!”

“Yoo, Gordos. That’s the shit kid?”

Gordon glared daggers at Benrey, sitting on the floor with a Coca-Cola, grinning as wide as ever with those sharpened teeth. 

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ call him that! You’re supposed to be  _ dead _ !”

“Nah, bro, you didn’t even- didn’t even take out the fuckin’, uh… source of my power. That’s like. Basic video game knowledge.”

“We shot the passports! And don’t you swear in front of my kid!”

“Sir, we’ll need you to move back while we-”

“Doctor Freeman,” he snarled at the guard, who raised his hands defensively. “And I’m not done with Benrey! Why the f- fudge are you here?!”

“Uhh. Idk.” Benrey gulped down the rest of his soda and tossed the empty can on the floor. “It’s pretty cozy. Better than Black Mesa.”

“You know what I mean! Why do you keep ruining my life?!”

“Yo, Freeman! Come on.” Bright distracted Gordon and followed up with a deep sigh. “Listen, man, we’ll let you interview the SCP later this week. For now, just gotta recontain it.” The director turned his attention to Benrey. “Hey man, mind going back to your cell if it’s so cozy?”

“Aww. Come on, man, Feetman and I were just catchin’ up!”

Bright held a hand up to his mouth to hide snickers, but failed, laughing hysterically. A few of the guards laughed with him. “ _ Feetman _ ?! Holy  _ shit _ !”

“Joshua, please-”

“Daddy, what’s a shit?”

Gordon wanted to scream. After a moment, the director calmed down enough to wipe a tear from his eye and cough away his giggles. “Pfft, okay, alright. But seriously, 5964, the MTF will show you back. Anything you want us to bring to your containment cell?”

“Uh. Can I get a free month of PlayStation Plus?”

“Sure, whatever.”

“Aw, sick!” Benrey pumped his fists in the air. “You’re my new favorite doctor, bro.”

The guards showed Benrey out of the breakroom. Gordon shot him a nasty look, but if Benrey noticed, he didn’t show it, and simply walked away.

“Well, I can tell you’re going to be fun to work with,” Bright chuckled. “You can go now. I’ll bring you upstairs.”

Gordon clung a little tighter to his son.

“You’ll be working nine to six Monday through Friday, and overtime is optional on the weekends when there’s nothing better to do. Lament will give you the coordinates, our sites obviously aren’t on Google Maps. I’m excited to see you tomorrow, Doctor Freeman.”

“Thanks again, man,” Gordon said. “I was really worried about if I’d still have a job after the resonance cascade.”

“You guys ready?” Agent Lament asked, leaning back in his chair. “I’m getting bored.”

“Oh, shut the hell your mouth,” Bright joked. “But yeah. See you around, Gordon.”

“Okay, Director Bright. Uh…” Gordon looked around, trying to think of something else to say. “I, uh, like your necklace. Is it a ruby?”

Bright froze at that, and pursed his lips before looking down at the amulet. Lament seemed uneasy as well. Gordon gulped- had he said something wrong? 

“...yeah. It is. Goodbye.”

Lament stood and walked out the door. Gordon followed without looking back.

“Dude. I know you’re new and all, but rule number one of Site 19- is actually don’t have a staring contest with 173, but rule  _ two  _ is don’t talk about Bright’s amulet.”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

The agent groaned as he turned the key in ignition. The engine grumbled under the New Mexican sun. “Doctor Bright… got into an accident, a long time ago. I’m really not supposed to go into a lot of detail, and I don’t want to- but suffice it to say. Doctor Bright isn’t the person, he’s the amulet.”

Gordon gulped at the implications. He was the amulet…? Joshua bounced in his seat next to him, and Gordon just sighed. “Okay. I won’t talk about it.”

“Thanks, man. Let’s get you home.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 4 in the morning and my head hurts like hell  
> this chapter is dedicated to finiffy who gave me a serotonin on tumblr  
> im gong to bed

“Hmm…”

Gordon sifted through the shirts hanging from his closet. Which one should he even wear? Most of the foundation staff he saw yesterday were wearing lab coats, but he didn’t own one, and other than that there didn’t seem to be much of a dress code. Hell, one of the secretaries was wearing slippers.

“Daddy, help my shoes!”

He picked out a simple black dress shirt and pulled it over his head before heading out to help Joshua. He was pulling on his sneakers, his cereal reduced to a thin glaze of milk on the bottom of the bowl. Gordon knelt down and tied his shoes neatly.

“Thank youuu!”

“No problem, Joshy. I’m almost ready, so let me go get my things. You just keep watching cartoons.” Joshua nodded and kicked his feet against the couch, and Gordon jogged back to his room to gather his things.

The site entrance was bustling much more than it had been yesterday when Gordon arrived. He looked around at the tired scientists, drinking coffee and looking through folders with various stains on them, ranging from black putty to what looked like dried blood. Gordon stood near the secretary’s desk, unsure of what to do or where to go- should he try to find Director Bright?

His mild panic was cut short by a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a… well, he couldn’t tell if they were a man or a woman, but they had dark skin with a trace of stubble on their chin and a well-styled pixie cut. 

“Doctor Freeman, right?” they asked, looking him over from a few inches below Gordon’s eye level. He nodded, and the other person smiled, black lipstick barely cracking. “Great. I’m Agent Diogenes, Bright’s assistant. He’s in the middle of a test, so he’ll be okay on his own for a little while.”

“Nice to meet you,” Gordon replied with a smile. “So, um, what am I going to be doing?”

“Well, considering the… incident that occurred yesterday, I believe we should start with a tour. Site 19 can be a little hard to navigate at first. Follow me.”

Gordon followed Diogenes through one of the three hallways leading into the deeper areas of the building. “So, um. What exactly am I going to be doing for my job…? Bright didn’t really specify anything.”

“Since your background is in theoretical physics, we’re considering you for temporal anomalies. Then again, we don’t know exactly how strong your mental state is. But new employees have to undergo at least three weeks of training with safe-class objects.” Diogenes stopped, directing Gordon’s attention to one of the many doors. “This entire wing is filled with safe objects, and labs to study them.”

“Oh thank god, not everything here is going to try to kill me?”

Diogenes laughed. “No, of course not.”

“Already better than Black Mesa.”

“I’m no researcher, so Doctor Kondraki should be filling you in on specifics. Classification systems, what individual SCPs are capable of and how to properly contain or research them, all that.” Gordon smiled- Kondraki had seemed like a reasonable enough guy when he had met him yesterday. “Sometimes even I like to read through the database to see what all we have.”

“Cool… hey, uh, can I ask you something? Have you seen Tom- uh, Doctor Coolatta and Coomer at all?”

“Oh, the ones that you were with at Black Mesa? Yes!” Diogones grinned. “In fact, they should be nearby, if what Agent Nekochris told me was true. He said he was going to show them SCP-914.”

“C-could we go see them?” Gordon asked hopefully. The agent simply smiled and nodded, walking in the direction they had been heading.

“Ah, hello Gordon!”

“M-mister Freeman!”

“Tommy, Dr. Coomer!”

Gordon pulled his friends into a tight hug, which they gladly returned. He didn’t pull away until he began to think that Coomer would crush his ribs. “Fuck, guys, it’s so good to see you!”

“I’m very happy to see you too, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer smiled widely.

“I was worried when- when you left Chuck-E-Cheese’s, and the foundation agents c-came to ask us to come work here, but I’m glad they found you!” Tommy said. “A-Agent Nekochris is really smart, he knows all about SCPs!”

“There we go… oh, hello there…”

A middle-aged man with vitiligo visible from under his MTF uniform’s helmet appeared from behind what appeared to be a massive metal machine with two doors, carrying a cardboard box. He set it down in front of the machine and pulled off his helmet to reveal ratty hair, and smiled nervously at Gordon.

“Y-you’re Dr. Freeman?”

“Yeah, Agent Diogenes said that you were doing experiments here?”

Nekochris nodded, setting down the box. “Yeah, uh. I had some things I wanted to run through 914! Did, uh, any of you see its file, or…”

“SCP-914 is a large clockwork device weighing several tons and covering an area of eighteen square meters, consisting of screw drives, belts, pulleys, gears, springs and other clockwork. It is incredibly complex, consisting of over eight million moving parts composed mostly of tin and copper, with some wooden and cloth items observed. Observation and probing have shown no electronic assemblies or any form of power other than the “Mainspring” under the “Selection Panel”. Two large booths 3mx2.1mx2.1m (10ftx7ftx7ft) are connected via copper tubes to the main body of SCP-914, labeled “Intake” and “Output”. Between them is a copper panel with a large knob with a small arrow attached-”

Coomer’s Wikipedia-esque rant was cut off by Diogenes. “Whoa- did you _memorize_ the file?”

“Yes!” The old doctor laughed. Tommy giggled along with him, and Gordon rolled his eyes playfully.

“That’s the Coomer we love…”

Nekochris blinked and quietly fidgeted with his tangled ponytail. “U-uh- thank you, Dr. Coomer? But… yeah, it’s basically an upgrader-slash-downgrader. Put in one thing, turn the dial to a setting… it changes the thing depending on it.” The agent trailed off and pulled something out of the box- a single chicken egg. He opened the door to the “Intake” booth and placed the egg inside, before closing it and approaching the panel in the center. “Uh, hey Dr. Coolatta, could you take notes with that clipboard on the desk? Just, uh, write down that I put in one chicken egg. I’m setting it to ‘fine’.”

Tommy gave Nekochris a thumbs up, reaching toward the nearby desk and grabbing a clipboard. He pulled a pen out of his pocket and scribbled down the information. Nekochris turned the knob to “Fine”, and wound the key with some difficulty.

Suddenly, the machine sprung to life, gears turning and clicking loudly. The gears visible in the spaces between the booths grinded against each other in ways that almost hurt to look at, until they halted, and a light “ding” sounded. Agent Diogenes opened the door to the output booth, to find-

“...sunny-side up.”

The doctors and agents peeked into the booth, and lying on the floor of the booth was a single egg, cooked to perfection. Tommy wrote something down on the clipboard.

“...a bit antic- an- anticlimactic…” Nekochris stuttered. He knelt down on the ground to where he had set the box, and pulled out another egg. “Uh… Diogenes, could you throw that away…?”

“Sure thing.”

“Wait,” Gordon said, shaking his head. “Is- is that box just full of _eggs_? Why not use a carton?”

Agent Nekochris blushed in shame. “...th-the foundation doesn’t always priorit-tize efficiency…” 

After managing to turn four more chicken eggs into an adult chicken, a duck egg, a pile of goop made of materials that should have been the shell and yolk, and puddle of sperm, Tommy gave the clipboard over to Agent Nekochris. He smiled awkwardly, tapping his feet on the ground.

“Th-thank you, Tommy!”

“It’s no problem!” Tommy replied with a warm smile.

“And thank you too, Chris,” Diogones said. “I was wondering what I should show Dr. Freeman. When Bright said ‘just go nuts’, I don’t think he had anyone’s best interests in mind.”

“It’s no problem!” the second agent laughed nervously. “I’ll… I’ll get these notes to Clef later. You guys should, uh, continue the tour.”

“That sounds lovely!” insisted Coomer. “Come along now, gentlemen! There’s SCPs to discover! Hyah!”

“Dr. Coomer, wait-!”

Gordon’s attempts were futile. Coomer rushed off into the halls of the foundation, and he shook his head, but he smiled despite it.

“Man… I kind of missed this.”


End file.
